Rainy Day Activity Idea

So I get a nonstop stream of hardcore emails from my Fascist uncle, right? Really fantastic stuff, like bald-faced lies about Obama and death warrants and gun bans and the like, and these awesome, hateful, fearmongering screeds about godless bureaucrats and worthless poor people. It's pretty outstanding.

But they're really piling up in my inbox, and starting to smell. And I figured there must be some alternate use for them, like how Martha Stewart could always make elegant formal wear out of used coffee filters and stuff. I always wished I was that resourceful.

So here's what I've got: (You can do this at home, as like a craft project with the kids. Just, um, wrap your computer mouse in papier-mâché or something.)

1. Find the latest/greatest/most offensive email you've got lying around.
2. Select all the text, and copy and paste into a new Word document.
3. Do a "Find and Replace" function, replacing every instance of "Conservative," "Realist" or "Hardworking American" with "Good German."
4. Once that's complete, replace all instances of "Liberal," "Secularist," "Immigrant," "Muslim" or "Welfare Recipient" with "Jew." (You can also do a Pelosi/Satan switcheroo for added authenticity.)
5. Select and copy all the new text, and place into new email.
6. Reply to all.

Let the fun begin!