Don't Get Sir Mix-A-Lot Wrong

With his 1992 smash "Baby Got Back," Sir Mix-A-Lot voiced the unspoken sentiments held by legions of booty-loving men, while at the same time validating the ample figures of countless spurned women. He did not, however, welcome everyone.

To wit:
"'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'..."

"When a girl walks in with a itty-bitty waist and a round thing in yo' face..."

And perhaps the most damning bit of evidence:
"Little in the middle but she got much back."

Mix-A-Lot, whose posse will forever be on Broadway, he who rolls the hooptie immortal, does indeed like big butts. He cannot lie. But he qualified his statement, perhaps as a safeguard against 900-lb. groupies bashing down the door of his dressing room, by stipulating that he only appreciates round things in his face when accompanied by small waists. It's an important distinction.

So before we herald this man as a hero, the Mack Daddy champion of disenfranchised females worldwide, proud celebrant of big girls as well as the motors in the back of their Hondas, we must remember that his plea for buttocks is not a universal one.

Does this lower him to the level of the hated elitist magazines and the beanpole dames therein? Can we be down with such irrefutable, thinly veiled hypocrisy?

Perhaps not. I don't mean to come off like a knucklehead trying to dis, and I give him his credit for the "rump of smooth skin" wordplay, but the fact of the matter is Sir Mix-A-Lot is a booty snob. His leers explicity exclude women with large waists, no matter how much back they got. They hold no appeal for him. His anaconda does not want none.