Hot Enough For Ya?

It gets hot in Indiana. It really does.

I'm not sure if the rest of the country realizes this.

Yesterday, for instance, I got in the car, fired up the A/C, looked down at the little thermometer and did a double-take: "100?" "100?!" I didn't even know the display went into the triple digits.

It's so hot my sweat is sweating. Hot enough to parboil a donkey. So hot that... well, there are plenty of euphemisms regarding hotness, and no real need for me to go into them right now. So what I will do instead, is post this article I wrote a couple years ago, which was supposed to be about a local tennis tournament.

*****

Behrmann Wins Pearson Open on Surface of the Sun

Just before high noon on Sunday, June 22, the first set of the Pearson Ford Open tennis finals is getting underway. There in the blazing sun, around 40 spectators sit quietly in the bleachers, careful not to shift too dramatically on the searing metal benches. Periodically, a muted yelp from somewhere in the upper sections signals a careless shorts-wearer.

Out on the court, No. 4 seed Matt Behrmann faces off against No. 7 Jeff Laski, each having beaten four challengers over the last few grueling days. The winner gets a spot in the qualifying rounds of the RCA championships, to compete against the top-ranked players in the world. Both also competed in the Doubles contests this weekend, lunging and scampering around on a concrete cooktop when logic would seem to dictate seeking shade.

Laski and Behrmann trade victories for the first four sets, each soaking his respective shirt and growing noisier and more expressive as the match wears on. Then Behrmann seems to see something, possibly fatigue, in his mortal opponent. In the end, Behrmann pulls ahead, winning consecutive sets to close the match.

At the awards ceremony, the players sigh a lot and manage to grin for the photos with sponsor John Pearson, who makes no mention of their pungency. Kathy Risacher, tournament director, points out this year’s “incredible amount of parity” between the competitors and that she “really put these guys through their paces.”

Spectators nod forcefully and form a single-file line in front of two square feet of shade discovered under a lamppost.