Questionable Diet

Since we've started watching TV in our house after 3 1/2 years, I feel much more connected to the mass culture around me, and it really is comforting to have such a steady stream of entertainment available. I'm starting to suspect, though, that it may be affecting my outlook on regular life.

*****

Setting: Suburban living room, morning. COLIN and PENELOPE are preparing for the work day

COLIN: [stands, whistling]

PENELOPE: [exiting scene] I'm gonna go find Vince's collar while you brush your teeth.

COLIN: Okay.

COLIN picks up his keys and wallet from the coffee table and heads toward the bathroom. At stage left, he looks down and suddenly stops. BAILEY, the cat, is eating something he has pulled from under the sofa.

--audible crunching--

--cue laugh track (soft giggles)--

COLIN [eyes fixed on cat, calling over shoulder to PENELOPE in other room]: Uh, Honey? ...I think I have an idea why the cats have been throwing up on the rug...

--laughter increases--

PENELOPE [off screen]: What? What did you say?

COLIN: I... nevermind...
[aside, to cat] ...Bailey, you probably shouldn't... oh, whatever.

--loud laughter, applause, continuing--

EXIT COLIN, slow zoom to BAILEY gnawing on object as we fade to commercial