When I was about four, I ate an entire bottle of Flintstones Vitamins. Then my stomach started hurting.

They were chewable, you see, and fairly tasty - and besides, I was just looking for Dino. I could so vividly remember seeing a purple Dino the dinosaur vitamin in there, and I resolved on that sunny Saturday morning to find it.

I also figured that, while I was at it, I might as well eat each non-Dino vitamin I found during the search, since they were so tasty and all, and vitamins are good for you.

"Man..." I remember thinking, "By the time I find Dino, I'll have eaten so many Flintstones Vitamins that I'll be, like, Superman."

There is no Dino Flintstone Vitamin. I don't know where I got that idea.

But I'm very, very glad I don't remember the trip to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. (When I started feeling sick, I drank half a bottle of cough syrup before realizing it was Time To Wake Up Mom.)

I just remember kneeling there, up on the kitchen counter, rattling the few vitamins left in the container and seeing that none of them were purple, and waiting for the dozens I'd already eaten to take effect ... so I could become Super.


Anonymous said...

I needed that laugh.


Anonymous said...

No Dino?!!! What a crock! Everyone knows that Dino is/was and always will be the best part of the Flintsones. Man... I bet you were BUMMED. I'm bummed for you.

For the record though, you were lucky. We couldn't have Flintstones vitamins. Or the bugs bunny ones, or any of the good stuff. We had this icky round puce colored things that were supposed to taste like oranges but didn't. And we couldn't have Tang either, even if it was the stuff of astronauts and space travel. We had to make do with the real stuff. I tell you, we were DEPRIVED.

But every once in a blue moon, we were allowed a box of Booberry or Frankenberry cereal, or Lucky Charms (instead of the usual shredded wheat, cheerios, rice crispies and cornflakes.) Man... cereal with marshmallows in it. Cereal that changes the color of your milk... now, Dude! that's living!!!

xo Wee

Anonymous said...

'we" being me and my brother, Scott. And all my spelling/typo errors being intentional and stuff.

xo Wee

Colin said...

Agreed - cereal-stained milk is the elixir of life. I used to get Frankenberry and Count Chocula all the time (still mad I missed out on Grape Ape) and I was a happy, hyped-up little kid.

Until one day when my first-grade teacher pulled my mom aside and asked what on God's Green Earth I was having for breakfast. "Oh, whatever cereal he chooses..." Mom said, as I ran loops around the ceiling of the room.

From there on out it was "Nothing with the first ingredient, 'Sugar,'" so I feel your pain of deprivation.

I was 21 by the time I enjoyed another bowl of Froot Loops, and I'm here to tell you they were AWESOME.

Chantelle said...

My sister actually did this same thing when we were little - minus the cough syrup and stomach pumping. I am not sure what her reasoning was but I bet it is nothing as good as becoming Super!

Jan said...

If you were a kid now, you'd be eating Flintstones Gummy Vitamins, even yummier

Colin said...

Yeah! I saw an ad for those gummy 'stones the other day... that's what reminded me about this story.

wendy said...

you tell the best stories!! the always give me a giggle.
I can't believe you got your stomach pumped. Thats intense.
Now why did you drink the cough syrup again??

Luke said...

While it took most of your growing up... I believe that you have, in fact, become super.

Your plan was a success.
My hero!