Crossed Wires

Man, I seem to be getting a lot of wrong-number calls on my cell phone lately. I don't know what the deal is... maybe Cingular is having trouble with the network, or my number's been posted somewhere it shouldn't have been (867-5309, if you wondered). It's really no big deal.

It does present the problem of how to deal with the people on the other end of the connection, though. Most of the time I'm pleasant enough, simply saying "Oh, sorry, I think you have the wrong number."

(For any frequent random dialers out there, the appropriate response to that is "Oh, sorry, goodbye," or possibly, "Oh, what number did I dial?" ...Either of those are fine.)

Rude-asses who ring me up demanding things don't get such genteel treatment.

*****

Me: "Hello?"

Them: "Who's this?"

"Who's this?"

"No, who's THIS?!"

[click]

*****

I just can't feature why anyone would expect people to put up with that. Some guy called me at, like, 7:30 this morning with that routine. I have to wonder if he's like that with everyone.

*****

"Hey you, pass the rolls."

"Okay, just a second."

"No! Do it now!"

*****

Penny got a good one last night. The phone rings, she answers and says hello, and the voice on the other end says "Who dis?"

I was especially proud of her response: "Uh... probably not who you're looking for."

I give the caller equal credit, for immediately grasping this logic: "Yeah, you're probably right."

It's a funny little social contract we have there in the wrong number - a snap decision each of us makes about how to handle a sudden encounter with a stranger, and our reactions are pure because there's no real threat of confrontation.

You might go so far as to say that your handling of a wrong number reveals your feelings about humanity in general... what you elect to say to a random fellow human if given the unexpected opportunity.

I, for example, am apparently a big jerk.