My Cats Meow Too Much

My cats meow too much, and it drives my wife crazy. They always want to be fed, but they're too fat as is. The vet told her there's nothing she can really do about it except maybe feed them this special food that's 'bulkier' and will trick them into thinking they're already full. We may try that.

For now, Penny screams and yells and sprays them with water. I prefer to engage the little fuzzybutts in a debate.

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'Meow.'

'Come now, Bailey. You can't say that with any degree of certainty.'

'Mrow.'

'Noah, you and I both know that imposing trade sanctions would only worsen the problem.'

'Meow-ow. Mau.'

'Oh, really? And what about 1992, when the exact same course of action was responsible for destabilizing half of the West African economy?'

'Meow.'

'You'll be singing a different tune when Alan Greenspan's vilifying you in front of the House and Senate.'

'Meowyow!'

'You guys are crazy, and so are your crackpot policies.'

'Mau.'