I Am The MacGyver Of Personal Grooming

So I'm sitting at my desk, finally tapping away at my new laptop, when something new occurs to me that hasn't occurred to me in the past: my left pinky fingernail is a little too long.

Yep, every time I go to type an A or hold down the shift key on this new-spangled contraption, there's a unique sensation that would have to be described as unpleasant.

Naturally I have no nail clippers at the office.

However, I do see a pair of wire cutters over at the workstation next to mine, lying on the cutting board. They have bright blue handles and no visible rust, and the blades look sharp enough, so I waste no time in getting the offending nail taken care of. But now that I'm hunched over the wastebasket I'm noticing that the other fingers on my left hand could use a little attention themselves.

After a few minutes of intermittent snapping noises, my coworker swivels around from his animating. "Are you, uh, trimming your nails with those pliers?"

Without looking up from my task, I try to think of an alternate explanation and come up with nothing.

"Mmm hm," I say. "My nails were a little too long for this keyboard."

"Oh," he says. He laughs to himself. "You're, like, MacGyver over there."

I finish up and put the cutters back where I found them, deciding not to correct him. It's probably better anyway if your new coworkers think of you as being ingenious and resourceful.

We'll see how long it takes them to figure it out.