On Second Thought

Dear Mr. or Mrs. Lucky SonofaLottery Winner,

Congratulations on your recent windfall in the Iowa Tri-State Lottery. Surely you feel fortunate indeed to have ripped me off accurately predicted the sequence that would be drawn.

As the person who wrote the fortune cookie message with the numbers you played, I am genuinely pissed thrilled at just how fortunate that cookie turned out to be.

I hope you are stricken with gout enjoying the fruits of your newfound wealth. Perhaps you have fallen down a well chartered an around-the-world yacht tour, or even choked on a bottlecap negotiated the purchase of a private island. I’m sure you know how best to molest pigeons spend the money as you see fit.

Best Wishes For A Messy Decapitation,

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