Oral Hygiene, Culinary Aspects of

This morning I had a dentist's appointment at 10 o'clock. It went okay.

I ended up buying a special toothbrush and agreeing to be fitted for a special mouthpiece I'll have to wear when I sleep, because apparently I grind - or "gnash," as the dentist put it - my teeth at night. This is no good.

I wonder what I've been dreaming about lately to make me clench my jaw with all my slumbering might. I rarely remember my dreams.

They say if you dream about losing your teeth, it has to do with money - losing all your money, I'd assume. I can see how the two go together, having just paid a hefty dentist's bill.

Lunch was tricky. We grilled bratwurst, which is not difficult, but the next part, the eating part, took some effort.

You just can't absentmindedly shove food in your face once you start thinking - I mean really thinking, about your teeth. I pictured ketchup and mustard smearing across the enamel, and the bun wedging its way between my incisors, as the pickle juice corroded my gums...

That was the worst bratwurst I ever had.

I wouldn't be surprised if I dreamed about it tonight, grinding my teeth like I guess I always do, gnashing my molars against the microscopic residue of my toxic lunch.


penelope said...

That was disgusting and hilarious all at the same time. :)

BM, The Necessary Movement said...

Hahaha great blog!! You might not know what you are talking about, but it sure is fun to read. I don't think anyone knows what they hell they are talking about. Most people pretend to have a clue and this is why they are doomed!! See GI joe once said knowing is half the battle! You know and I know!! There are more people like us out there somewhere!!

Cheers!! great blog!

Colin said...

Hey, I've written two blogs here since this one, and neither of them shows up! What the crap?

emily said...

Your blog is great! It's hard to find blogs with good content and people talking about culinary school these days! I have a secret culinary school blog if you want to come check it out!