3/6/06

With All Due Respect to the Three 6 Mafia, I Have Some Questions Regarding the Actual Difficulties Inherent to Pimping

- Sure you occasionally have to beat up people, but isn't it mostly women?

- On the topic of overhead: though quite pricey new, Cadillacs can be had very affordably on the used market due to their rapid depreciation. A year-old model could likely meet all your pimping needs and more, and at a significant savings.

- Gigantic gold rims are prone to denting on urban potholes, but all you have to do is drive more cautiously, man. You should know these streets by now anyway.

- When's the last time you filled out a W-2?

- Hard to complain about the dress code, either. You don't have to wear fur coats in July - that's your choice.

- And it must make things easier that you operate primarily in economically vulnerable areas with inadequate schools, fearful residents and underfunded police forces.

- While other merchants' offerings become obsolete without constant improvement, yours has been in steady demand, unchanged, for thousands of years.

- And yes, I realize there are drawbacks to having a job title that sounds so much like "pimple," but it's not like you carry business cards. Besides, probably hardly any of the people you associate with ever point out the similarity, and you can always go by "Mack" instead. Hey, "Mack."

- And lastly, I'm not an expert on the workings of the industry or anything, but you're not the one having sex with random strangers, right?

No comments: