10/9/09

Rainy Day Activity Idea

So I get a nonstop stream of hardcore emails from my Fascist uncle, right? Really fantastic stuff, like bald-faced lies about Obama and death warrants and gun bans and the like, and these awesome, hateful, fearmongering screeds about godless bureaucrats and worthless poor people. It's pretty outstanding.

But they're really piling up in my inbox, and starting to smell. And I figured there must be some alternate use for them, like how Martha Stewart could always make elegant formal wear out of used coffee filters and stuff. I always wished I was that resourceful.

So here's what I've got: (You can do this at home, as like a craft project with the kids. Just, um, wrap your computer mouse in papier-mâché or something.)

1. Find the latest/greatest/most offensive email you've got lying around.
2. Select all the text, and copy and paste into a new Word document.
3. Do a "Find and Replace" function, replacing every instance of "Conservative," "Realist" or "Hardworking American" with "Good German."
4. Once that's complete, replace all instances of "Liberal," "Secularist," "Immigrant," "Muslim" or "Welfare Recipient" with "Jew." (You can also do a Pelosi/Satan switcheroo for added authenticity.)
5. Select and copy all the new text, and place into new email.
6. Reply to all.

Let the fun begin!

9 comments:

Colin said...

Jeez, Colin! You're supposed to be light and fluffy and entertaining, not harsh and political and stuff.

Colin said...

I know, I know. And I actually regret posting this, to be honest. I was just a little irked is all. The emails shouldn't get under my skin, but they do.

Colin said...

I'll say! You pretty much just called your uncle a Nazi.

Colin said...

Yes, there is that. But not really - at least, that wasn't what I intended. I was just comparing the intolerance I see today with what I imagine was going on in 1930s Germany. People are always going to disagree, but I don't think there always has to be a "villian," you know? And I just don't see how all this divisiveness helps anybody.

Colin said...

Fair enough. I guess you should leave it up, then.

Colin said...

Yeah. I guess.

Valarie said...

Colin, you need to escape that small town of yours for a little bit...

Maybe some interaction with people could help!

:)

Anonymous said...

Val is right, Col. But I do see how the intolerance gets to you after awhile. I usually just hit "delete," so I don't get upset.

Love and hugs
Mom

Anonymous said...

You *so* misspelled villain. Don't be slippin', pacifist. I do the same thing Mom does. My inbox loves me for it.

Hugs for you and the fam,

YS